i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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