I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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