Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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