? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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