Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
