You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
