i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
