I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
