dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
