I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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