I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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