i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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