her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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