I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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