i think i have herpe
just one?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
