I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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