She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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