No awkward lesbian experiences without me
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
