Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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