so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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