is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
