smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
