If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
