OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
