she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
