I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
