i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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