so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She's the barista slut.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
