Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
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