It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Randomize
