Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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