We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Are these your boobs on my camera?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
