Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
