Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
