Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
