We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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