you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
