Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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