He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
