We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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