I must be too annoying 4 u.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
