The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
