Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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