she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
