He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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