My nipple is on Facebook.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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