Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
