My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
