And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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