just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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