we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
